At the time I wrote this my father Jim Worsley was currently in a hospital in St. George, UT as a result of a sudden heart attack which occurred on Thanksgiving Day. Which beknown to me up until a few days after, my paternal Grandfather passed away on the very same holiday back in '97.
Dad was traveling away from his home in Comstock, Wisconsin (township outside Turtle Lake) to accompany a friend who was hauling freight across country in an 18 wheeler. Once in Utah, they decided to make a pitstop and get supplies, and wash the truck while they were at it. My dad and his friend Paul, once done, both pulled themselves high up into the big rig, attempting to get comfortable for the remainder of the haul with California as their final destination. As both were readying to go, Paul looked over to the passenger seat, when he took notice his friend had started to wheeze, and soon after without anytime to react, his passenger collapsed onto the front dashboard. I received a call a few moments later.
My dads heart had stopped beating....but why in Utah? Why not at home? Why not any other time through out his life time? Over the next couple weeks as his mind and body battled against his ailing heart, I believe most of my questions were aanswered. That was until, the night of December 8th at 11:10 am, which was a Sunday. I was four days back home in Minnesota from visiting my old man, and I had decided to go into work late that night to catch up while no distractions were present, when suddenly my cell phone started to vibrate. I looked down at the screen and before I saw who it was from, I already knew who it was and what the call had to be about. This was the second call.
This man is someone who I referred to as the "Richest Poor Man in The World". If you asked him, the whole world had lost it's damn mind and is way too busy taking themselves way too seriously. Time and time again, he'd kept me humbled and grounded with one simple quote which he repeated when he thought he needed to remind me, which was, "Son, I might not have everything I want, but I definitely have everything I need."
My dad has always been a simple man. I remember him no other way. A man who chose a certain lifestyle. A lifestyle, which separated him from the social norm, or definitely didn't fall into the category of being politically correct. He never accepted the stereotypical "American Dream", lifestyle. Over time I came to figure out it was because of a dislike and distrust for authority figures which stemmed from growing up under the rule of a verbally and physically abusive father, but that part of his journey through life will need to wait to be told another day.
Anyways, If he allowed himself to get caught up in the paycheck to paycheck, monthly mortgage, car payment, fiasco, I truly believe he would have felt as if authority had gotten the best of him, and he wasnt about to give in just to appease the masses. Nor was he about to adapt with society or embrace technology because of its trend. He wasn't about to become just another head to count or meaningless statistic either. He truly wanted to be a free man at any cost. He is a man a lot of people might not quite understand. Some might see a selfish man, while others might see rebellious, but me, I see a simple man.
He loved to hunt, fish and the outdoors of course. If I may since Im writing a book; I recall one time specifically, it was just him and I and we went down to the local swimming hole to cool off as we have done numerous times before over the years. Well it turns out this time was different, as he'd decided to bring along his shampoo so he could sneak a quick wash., I remembered being embarrassed by Wilderness Worsley and his simple ways as other swimmers began to arrive. Knowing the scene he would cause, he hollered out from the middle of the lake, "Hey son, I bet my monthly water bill is lower then yours," followed by his michievious laugh.
He accomplished two things by doing this:
1. Once he called me his son, he knew there was no longer anyway possible I could deny to the other beach goers that I was indeed offspring to the loud bubble monster singing in the middle of the lake.
2. He also made me realize, son of a...he probably doesnt EVEN have a monthly water bill.....how can I argue with that.
Jim, was a sarcastic, personable, fun loving and free spirited man who could make you mad as hell one second and the next have you laughing so hard with a smart ass comment, it down right irritated you, but that was why people loved him.
When he was stern with myself or my brother for one reason or another he'd calm down and say he wasn't mad at us, and that he was more disappointed with himself, switching the focus on himself saying time and time again, "Garsh darn it son, I should have taught you better, its my fault, its my fault." I love my dad, and everything about him that I was embarrassed by when he was here, i now wish he could one last time.
Ok, I better get on with what happened, as no one wants to read a novel about my father James Joseph Worsley, but boy could I write one, oh boy could I ever.
Thanksgiving 2014 - 6:05 PM
The EMT's were called and the doctors estimated he went 6-8 minutes without oxygen before a pulse was found. He was rushed to Valley View Medical Center in Utah, where he fought for his life once again, for an unknown period of time. Once a pulse was stabilized he was air lifted to one of the best cardiac hospitals in Utah, the Dixie Regional Medical Center in St. George.
Now keep in mind, his friend Paul is a long haul truck driver, so once dad was taken by ambulance, there wasn't much more he could do, and he had to continue on with his route to California leaving my Dad 1500 miles away from his home, his family and his best friend, Oscar, his doberman.
Jason (myself) and Jim’s fiance, Brenda immediately flew out to be by his side, first landing in Vegas. Jason without a legal license, (don't ask, I'm a procrastinator) and Brenda without a credit card, were unable to rent a car, (having one or the other doesn't seem to work, you need both it seems) we had to sleep 6 hours at the airport, before being lightly kicked by the airport security, awaking us just in time as fate may have it to catch the 6 am shuttle for a 2 hour ride to St. George Utah.
When we first arrived, early Saturday morning (after Thanksgiving) they already began weening him of the sedatives with no response being recorded up to that point. So with the worst imaginable in mind, I began to say my goodbyes and was preparing for his passing.
To everyones surprise, On Sunday afternoon, he decided it was time to wake up and opened his eyes, soon after the breathing tube was removed. Confused and unable to say many words, he followed simple commands by squeezing our hands, wiggling his toes, and winking at the pretty nurse that routinely checked in on him. With brain damage a concern (because of the time he went without oxygen), I knew at this point his mind was no more impaired then what it was before the heart attack, as his personality shown through when he hit on the nurse through his nonverbal eye wink. ;)
Monday - He continued in a positive direction, as he was beginning to speak more regularly, and requested ice chips, pudding, jello..beer...,But, at this point with the feeding tube only being removed a day prior, he was stuck with ice chips for now. He was still confused as to what had happened, or how he ended up in Utah, but he did remember long term events such as where he works, his dogs name, what month it was, and asked if he knew who I was, he smirked and said proudly, "That's Uglier Than Me," a reference he used quite frequently when referring to me, which again only varified he was getting better as each day passed.
Tuesday - At one point he was alert enough to yell out to the staff derogatory remarks about them not letting him leave, which I might add had the whole ICU laughing so hard they all had tears rolling down their cheeks, including myself and Brenda. To the ICU it was just some crazy man coming down off his pain meds, to me is just solidified further the stubborn old man who is my father, was getting better.
Wednesday - Things took a small step back but I believed it was because the nurses and doctors were tryng to find an appropriate level for his pain meds. After all, not only did he have a heart attack, it cost him pretty much every rib in his body, which were now broken and flailing in his chest due to the CPR he received. They swiched him to Morphine to help with the pain, and that seemed to irritate him and make him restless at first, which from what I learned after is normal in most cases.
However, he was still stable and the doctors were preparing to move him out of ICU in the next day or so,. So Brenda and I decided it was time to get back home and back to work and we took the 12:35 AM flight from Vegas to Minneapolis. We were in good spirits for his recovery.
Thursday night I received a call from the Dr. stating that he has Atrial fibrillation or AF, which is the most common type of arrhythmia. An arrhythmia is a problem with the rate or rhythm of the heartbeat. During an arrhythmia, the heart can beat too fast, too slow, or with an irregular rhythm. At which time he had asked my permission to shock his heart back into rhythm, at such time and knowing the risk I obliged.
**UPDATE** Sunday, December 7, 2014 I received a call after 11:10 pm from the nurse stating that dad had went into cardiac arrest and they had been resuscitating him for 10 minutes already before a call had been made to me.
As I continued to speak with the nurse, and as I heard them working on Dad in the background (yes she was in the same room) nearly 15 minutes had lapsed.At which time I asked the nurse on the other side of the phone how long they typically continue the CPR procedure. I come to find out it is my call as when they should stop. (Whoops, pardon me, rookie mistake I guess) After a couple more minutes and rounding the 20 minute mark, I took a deep breath and told them to stop compression's..
Now, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried so you guys just have to believe me. The very second i said stop compression's, the nurse in unison said, "Wait, wait, we have a rhythm"...I automatically screamed out loud reactionary, " You have got to be f*&%* kidding me?? He's playing with me, he just messing with me now, isn't he?" At which point his blood pressure, heart rate and everything else doctor-ish went back to normal.
20 minutes absolutely nothing..I say stop, and his heart starts beating again...I'm not a religious person, but there's something to say for what happened that night, I just don't have the words to say what should be said.
Since that "Sign" though, I am sorry to say that was Mr. Custers last muster, and days later I had to make the decision to let the man go. The man I regrettably tried to avoid in life at times because of insignificant differences that span from society telling me my father wasn't normal, and at times embarrassment took over instead of the acceptance or embracing the very man I have now become.
If you never had the chance to meet James Worsley, you would have liked him, even respected him. He was a good man. He was not a perfect man. He did not have a lot to his name at times yet he'd still give you the shirt off his back if you needed it, They called him Jim, that's just the type of person he was, he was my father.
Jim is no longer on this Earth, he is gone now, he has left to go be with his Mother Audrey and Eldest Son Jesse Michael, who he loved more then life itself.
I am all that remains, but I am my fathers son who now has two sons..who God willing will the same..over and over until the end of time.
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